Infant Sleep Myths That Keep Parents Up At Night

There is more advice about infant sleep than almost any other parenting topic, and a good portion of it is contradictory. Parents are told to follow a schedule, then told that schedules are harmful. They are told their baby should sleep through the night by three months, then told that it is biologically unrealistic. The noise is exhausting.

Here is what the evidence actually says.

Myth 1: Babies Should Sleep Through the Night by Three Months

The truth: Frequent night waking is biologically normal in infancy. Babies are wired to wake for feeding, connection, and regulation. Research shows many infants continue to wake overnight well beyond six months, and this sits within a broad range of normal development.  

Expecting consolidated sleep at three months can create unnecessary distress for parents who believe something is wrong when it is not. Rather than aiming for ‘sleeping through’ at an early age, it can be helpful to view infant sleep as variable, dynamic and dependent on both biological needs and environmental context.

Myth 2: Picking Up a Crying Baby Will Spoil Them

The truth: Responsive caregiving, which includes picking up and comforting a crying baby, is associated with secure attachment. The Australian Association for Infant Mental Health supports a responsive care approach in early infancy, noting that babies cannot self-soothe in the newborn period because the neural pathways for emotional regulation are not yet developed.

Picking up your baby is not creating a bad habit. It is responding to a communication.

Myth 3: Sleep Training Is the Only Way to Improve Sleep.

The truth: This is one of the most debated topics in parenting, and it deserves a nuanced answer. There is no single approach to sleep that works for every family. Some structured sleep interventions may reduce night waking in the short term, but they are not the only option, and are not always the best fit.

Possums/NDC focuses instead on supporting the baby’s biological sleep regulators, including exposure to daylight, varied sensory input during the day, flexible routines, and reducing unnecessary battles around sleep. Many families find that when pressure around sleep is reduced, sleep often improves naturally over time.

If sleep is causing disruption in your household, reach out to one of our NDC-accredited GPs, who can help guide you to make sleep workable.

Myth 4: A Tired Baby Will Sleep Easily

The truth: Infant sleep is not simply a matter of “getting them tired enough.” Sleep is regulated by complex biological systems, including circadian rhythms and sensory processing.

Rather than watching the clock or trying to prevent “overtiredness,” a more helpful approach is to:

• Allow flexible naps rather than rigid schedules
• Support daytime engagement and light exposure
• Accept that some variability in settling is normal

Sleep can be supported without needing to tightly control it.

Myth 5: Co-Sleeping Is Always Dangerous

The truth: The evidence here is specific to context. Red Nose Australia provides clear guidance: bed-sharing in an adult bed involves risks, particularly when a parent has consumed alcohol, is a smoker, is very fatigued, or is on sedating medication. Room-sharing with a separate safe sleep surface is recommended by Red Nose Australia and is associated with a reduced risk of sudden unexpected death in infancy (SUDI).

We know that 75% of Australian families will share a sleep surface with their baby at some stage in the first few months of life - intentionally or otherwise. (Cole, R., Young, J., Kearney, L., & Thompson, J., 2020). Infant care practices and parent uptake of safe sleep messages: A cross-sectional survey in Queensland, Australia. BMC Pediatrics, 20, 27. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12887-020-1917-5

It is important that if you are going to co-sleep, it is done safely. Information on safer bedsharing, especially in the context of breastfeeding, can be found at the Australian Breastfeeding Association (https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/resources/co-sleeping)

Safe sleep decisions should be made with full information, not with blanket rules that ignore individual circumstances. Talk to your NDC-accredited GP if you have questions about your specific situation.

Myth 6: There Is One Right Way to Settle a Baby

The truth: There is no universal method. Every baby has a different temperament, every family has different circumstances, and what works brilliantly for one family may do nothing for another. The most important thing is that whatever approach you use is safe, sustainable for the parents, and responsive to your baby's cues.

When to See Your GP About Infant Sleep

If your baby's sleep patterns are significantly affecting your family's functioning, if your baby seems unwell or in pain overnight, or if you are concerned about your own mental health in relation to sleep deprivation, it is worth making an appointment.

At Embrace Medical on Crown, Drs Hayley Glasson, Kate McCullough and Marisa Nguyen can help assess sleep in a holistic way by ruling out contributing factors, such as reflux or feeding difficulties and can develop a plan that makes sense for your family.

Frequently Asked Questions

When do babies start sleeping through the night?

There is a wide range of normal. Some babies sleep longer stretches from a few months; others continue waking overnight well into the second year, and sometimes beyond. Developmental readiness, overall sleep needs, and individual temperament all play a role.

Is it safe for my baby to sleep in my bed?

Red Nose Australia recommends room-sharing on a separate safe sleep surface rather than bed-sharing. However, there are safe ways to share a sleep surface, especially for a breastfeeding parent. If you have questions about your specific circumstances, speak with your GP.

At what age can I start sleep training?

Babies don’t need to be trained to sleep. Sleep develops over time as part of normal brain maturation, and waking frequently in infancy is biologically normal. Rather than focusing on teaching babies to self-settle, we support parents to understand their baby’s cues, build flexible rhythms around family life, and reduce stress around sleep expectations. If sleep is feeling really hard, gentle, responsive support from a trusted health professional can help.

Why does my baby wake more when they are overtired?

Sometimes babies do become more dysregulated after long periods of stimulation or wakefulness — but it’s not always as simple as being “overtired” or missing the perfect wake window.

A baby who is difficult to settle may actually be:

• under-tired and not ready for sleep yet• highly alert or temperamentally sensitive

• needing more sensory regulation and connection

• going through a developmental leap

• responding to a busy day, discomfort or excitement

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